Discipline, Part 1

It's now about 1:59 am, no one is awake, I have insomnia, and resultantly I actually have time to write something.  And the topic is guidance.  I didn't think I would have to deal with discipline with Max so early in his life, but so far, by using firm, consistent, but loving guidance, Max can get us to do pretty much whatever he wants.

Last week, I woke up around 6:30.  Max, probably listening to my pillow ruffling from 2 doors down, wakes up about 5 minutes later and cries until I get him.  I'm tired and really not in the mood to play with him, so I put him on the floor and collapse on a nearby couch.  So Max finds his toy broom and comes to me.

"Oom!" Max says, holding out the broom.  Max skips the first consonants in a word.
"Yeah, broom,"  I monotonously reply.
"Up!"  Max says.  He wants me to hold him.
"OK, Max."  I lift him up to be on the couch.
"EEEEEEAAAWAAEEEAA!!!!!"  Max is unhappy.
I put him down.  "What's going on, Max?"  I asked.
"Oom!"  Max hands the broom to me.
"That's a broom, Max."  I say.
"Up!"  Max says.  This time he's slapping my leg.  Does he want me to get up?

I stand up, holding the broom.  Max then started pushing on the back of my leg.  Does he want me to sweep?

Yes, that is exactly what Max wants.  It is now 6:45 am and I am sweeping the floor while Max is following 2 feet behind me and overseeing my work.  I can't believe this is happening to me. Worse, I unwisely tell my coworkers about this exchange and lost whatever respect they used to have.

Exchanges like this are actually fairly common with this kid.  I remember the first of many times Max waddled over to our shoe rack, found a shoe and put it down next to my foot.

"Off!"  He said.

That is technically correct.  The shoe is off, but he wants it on my foot.

There's really only one way to avoid him screaming at this point - let him put the shoe on.  If the shoe happens to be Mom's and the foot is Dad's, there are zero ways to avoid him screaming.
So let's say, for the sake of discussion, he chose one of my shoes.  I put it on.

"Up!"  He then says.
I pick him up.
"Out!"

The deal is, he wanted to go outside all along, but he knows Mommy and Daddy need (a) shoes to go out, and (b) simple, step-by-step instructions to give him the desired result.