Max has always been an anti-shopping baby. In a T.J. Maxx store, as inevitable as finding endless racks of P. Diddy hip-hop XXXXL sweatpants, we can count on Max to be sobbing in his stroller. Essentially, he's like me with a shorter fuse. Worse, he's like my dad. Clearly Max's future wife will be buying clothes for him while Max plays space golf, or whatever they do in the future.
But, like Dad, Max reacts differently in different stores. And he was a very good baby in REI. Not in his stroller, by any means, but by adopting a few simple rules we could keep him relatively happy:
(Note: These rules don’t all necessarily apply to Dad.)
1) For God's sake, don't leave him in the car seat with nothing to do.
2) Let him stroll around also.
3) Go ahead, let him eat the shoelaces. Isn’t there some sort of product safety thing that protects him?
4) Max needs to try stuff out too (by "try", I mean, grab, drool on, or eat.)
If you’re near a clothes rack, for God sake, throw some shirt sleeves into his crib. You need to see how they feel, he needs to see how they taste.
5) If the shirt’s a medium, don’t waste time trying it - just buy it already.
If you are willing to devote the 300% higher effort necessary to do these things, life is good.
Delia still longs for a more innocent time when she could just aimlessly spend hours browsing through aisle upon aisle of clothes while her husband got furious. I am actually a little grateful to have him along.
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